Well sports fans, we’re back after a short week last week where we missed one out of the four games played. The Carolina Cluckers didn’t lay the egg we thought they would and instead it was Missouri that looked they belonged in the Kookoo’s nest last week.

This week we have six games to gander and some of them are going to be awful close to call as many teams in the SEC have simply not been consistent in their play so far this season.

The good news is that upset bug has gained 40 pounds since we last saw him and it could be harder for him to sneak in on teams from now on. But if there’s anything we’ve learned in almost 20 years of writing this column is that if it can happen, it will, so with fearful trepidation we will start tallying the losers.

Georgia at Kentucky – Kirby’s Canines come a calling in the Commonwealth they’re looking for a lopsided celebration and why not? They’ve looked strong for much of the season while the Cats go from mild to Wild.

At the first of the year, we thought this one might be a little closer, but after watching these Kentucky Kitties fill up their litter box for most of the season, we just don’t see how they pull this one off, even with a big invitation from the upset bug.

So the scratching they’ll put on these Pups from the red clay country won’t amount to more scratching than they do on themselves when the fleas come around. Larry’s loser – Kentucky

LSU at Auburn – A Tiger’s tale for sure when the Bengal brethren battle the Tigers on the plains and both teams need a win here to keep from being a bottom dweller in the western cellar.

Now since they’re both running hot and cold it’s hard to tell which Tigers will show up for the fight here. Now Auburn’s tough at home, but tougher at night than in the daylight and then those fans won’t fill the stands so they lose that too.

Then when you figure in this is their yoyo year and they won they last week in a squeak, then you have to figure what goes up must come down and Auburn’s due, so that’ll make Larry’s loser Auburn in a real close game.

Ole Miss at Vanderbilt – When the Rebels take Interstate 40 over to Song City to slay the Sailor Boys at Vandy, it’ll be just the medicine that poor ol’ Coach Kiffin needs to put out the burn in buns over the recent losses of football games and cash from fines.

Yes, poor old Vandy, just when the season couldn’t seem more bleak here comes a team that can score all day with a chip on their shoulder.

Maybe the Commodores should just play this game with a little extra padding this week and play this whole game with their life jackets on… They’ll need them. Larry’s loser – Vanderbilt

Mississippi State at Alabama – Mike’s Mutts started the season with a shocking win and a mighty air attack, but ever since, folks have been boning up on their skeet shooting and have learned to blast those Bulldogs right outta the sky.

Now Saban’s been sore with his safeties ’cause they’ve been getting burned more that a marshmallow at a Girl Scout campout and you can bet that they’re gonna get a big workout and maybe some more butt chewing from the ring leader of these Tuscaloosa Tusked Ones in this contest.

But while this may make it sound like the Pachyderms could have a problem, you won’t know it from looking at the scoreboard and that’ll make Larry’s loser – Mississippi State

Missouri at Florida – When the Gainesville Gators put out the welcome mate for Missouri, they seem pretty sure that this is one Tiger they can catch by the tail.

But I’m telling you folks, even though the boys in Lost Wages see this as a two touchdown cakewalk for the big Lizards, this one could be a lot closer if the Meeyowing Missourians can play their A game.

But it’s like I’ve heard all my life, close don’t count except for hand grenades and horseshoes and the losers in this one can only take solace in keeping it close. Larry’s loser – Missouri

Arkansas at Texas A&M – Now folks, at the season’s beginning, this was supposed to be a trip where the little Pigs go to the Big Bad Wolf’s house just like a Grub Hub delivery. They didn’t stand much chance of leaving without some serious chewing.

But something strange happened in Swine Country and Pittman’s Pigs are one bad call from being 3-1 in SEC competition after never so much of sniffing an SEC win for a very long time.

Now folks I’m not predicting an upset here, not with the Aggies in their own back 40, not being favored by up to 14 points and certainly not because they’re supposed to win this game. But I wouldn’t be too surprised if it happened. Still in the end, Larry’s loser – Arkansas

Well that’s it for this week folks. Here’s hoping you’ve finished the honey do’s and the weekend chores and can settle in for some SEC scratching and clawing and in deference to the old saying, “May the best team win”, I’ll just say, “May the lousiest team lose”.

So till next week, get your butt out to vote and let’s all celebrate what a great country we have where we get to decide who wins or loses, at least in politics. Oh if we could only vote in football too…

LARRY BURTON HAS BEEN PUBLISHED IN ALMOST EVERY MEDIA OUTLET FOR COLLEGE SPORTS. HE WRITES THIS ARTICLE IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THESE SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME TIME COMMENTS AT  TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER