Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Championship Week

By: Larry Burton

Well folks it only seemed like yesterday, before the first games were played, when everyone’s chest was puffed out and all the teams were thinking that this could be their year. Now they’re ten sobbing SEC slobbernocking teams sitting at home crying that it didn’t go as they hoped it would.

That leaves two teams to tussle for the title and Bacardi reminded me this morning that if you would have bet these two teams to be in the championship game this weekend in Las Vegas before the first kickoff, that you’d be rich man today.

Missouri went from the  “Why the hell did we join this conference team” to the champions of the East in one season from a 5 win, could only beat the two worst squads in my division / didn’t even make a bowl team to the tip top beast of the East.

And Auburn, who was the worst team in the SEC last year, goes from worst to first in one year? Well we all can stop making the “Short Bus Gus” jokes now because Gus Malzahn just drove that bus down the throats of the opponents to become the best of the West.

I don’t know whether to just call this the SEC Championship Game or the “Improbable Bowl”.

Both teams will leave Atlanta with a great bowl game in their future and a fantastic season in their resume, so it’s hard to call one of these teams a loser even after the final whistle has blown. But that’s our job here and we have to name a loser and it ain’t easy to find a way to figure that one out without some serious head scratching and only one of us may have fleas.

So without further ado, let’s chew up a few more smart cookies and get to the prognosticating.

Missouri vs Auburn for the SEC Championship – Atlanta, Ga. – 3:00pm (CST)  on CBS –

This here SEC slugfest is gonna be one wild catfight with a pair of Tigers trying to scratch and claw their way to the top of the heap in the SEC. Gary Pinkel’s pussycats have mystified the mutt and me all year long and have accounted for more incorrect picks than the others, so we’ll admit when it comes to tapping these tabbies for the top, we have a bad taste in our mouth with these Missourians.

And then you have Auburn. Call ’em lucky, call ’em overachievers, but call ’em winners to. These pussycats from the plains are playing like God’s last name is Malzahn and there’s an old saying that it’s better to be lucky than good. The problem for Missouri is that Auburn is both lucky and good.

The boys in Vegas started out leaning toward Missouri, now that the money’s rolling in, they’ve switched to Auburn, even if it is by just two points.

The one who’ll win this game will be the one that gets that big break and lately everything’s falling Auburn’s way. But in the end, Auburn’s used more of their nine lives up than Missouri, so that’s the way the ball bounces this week.

Larry’s Loser –  Auburn

Well that’s it for this week folks, we only got one more week of wonderful but woeful prognosticating picks to play and that’s the SEC Bowl Edition. After that, the pigskin pickin’ pug and I spend the winter working on the perfect recipe for smart cookies for next season so that we can confidently configure the champs from the chumps and keep the high standards of selection for which we are synonymous for.

So till the bowl season edition, it’s been a fun season in the SEC and not one of our high marks for accuracy, thanks again Missouri. But what has been fun is sharing these selections with such sensational people as you. Now you little bow wow broadcaster, find my comfortable slippers and let’s get guessing on these bowl games.

Larry is an award winning writer whose work has appeared in almost every college football venue. Now he primarily writes for Touchdown Alabama Magazine. This series of “Larry’s Losers” is a tribute to an old Southern favorite of my youth, “Leanord’s Losers”. Follow Larry on Twitter at https://twitter.com/LBSportswriter