Larry’s Loser in the SEC – Week 7

By: Larry Burton

Well folks, living in Florida I see some big mosquitoes, but folks, the upset bug is much bigger and for some teams packs a lot more bite a Gainesville Swamp full of blood suckers. South Carolina, you continue to be the thorn in my side. I’d have been more accurate flipping a coin that using logic and deduction in calculating those Carolina Cluckers.

With other great games this week, the pigskin pickin’ pooch and I are putting in the extra time to tabulate the terrific trials and tribulations to come this weekend. So without further ado, let’s  jump right in and expose these losers in order of kickoff time.

Georgia at Missouri – Both these teams have already had a slip up this season and both know that to make it to Atlanta they may not can afford another one. Also, both teams know that this game could be the one that determines who’s the beast from the East.

Mark Richt’s had enough talent at his local dog show to have won more than a few blue ribbons, but when it really matters, his mutts have gone home without a bone far too many times. Missouri was the team that people scratched their heads over when they came into the SEC and they’ve proven that they don’t just belong here, but they’ve also proven they can win here and win big.

But this week may not be Missouri’s week although we expect it to be a real close game. Though we expect the dogs to wind up with fleas before the end of the season, this week it’ll be a Tiger scratching his head wondering just what went wrong. Larry’s loser – Missouri

University of Louisiana at Monroe at Kentucky – My heartfelt apologies to the fans of the Kentucky Wildcats for all the mildcat talk earlier this season. It seems that these Kentucky Kitties grew their nails out as well as growing a big pair of footballs and they proved it last week by beating the team that most of us in the media picked as the prize Pullet in the East at the first of the year.

This week they have a sacrificial lamb coming to the alter in Commonwealth Stadium, but if they’ve spent the week reading their headlines and not unswelling their heads after giving the Carolina Cluckers a decent plucking, they could relapse into the Kentucky clan of old.

But that ain’t likely and when this sixty minute cycle is over these waring Wildcats will be an impressive and surprising 5-1 and may need to start shopping for some new suitcases for a bowl game this winter. Larry’s loser – UL Monroe

Auburn at Mississippi State – Both these teams are sky high and thinking of things that could be and this could be the must watch game between the number 2 and 3 teams in the country and could be one of five games that could decide the fate of the SEC West.

Auburn has the players and these pussycats have the experience in the big games and you can bet that Gus Malzahn will have taught his Tabbies some tricks that could leave the Bulldogs blindsided. They’ve not looked like a world beater in some games this season, but they think they’ve gotten that behind them.

But there’s just something about this pack of Pooches that make both me and the pigskin pickin’ pug believe in this Cinderella team in this contest and it could just be the week that we bite along with the upset bug. We see him coming in this one. Larry’s loser – Auburn

UT Chattanooga at Tennessee – Tennessee came oh so close to making a statement last week but a one point loss to Florida won’t get you any closer to a bowl game than any other loss, so it’s good to have a week off to get over it and play a cupcake to restore your confidence.

It’s not that these Mocs from the Southern side of the state can’t win, it’s just that pigs can’t fly and UT Chattanooga won’t win. So with so many other good games on this weekend, even Vol fans may be tempted to twist the tuner on the TVs on this one.

The good news for Tennessee is that after this game, they’ll be back even at 3-3 and the good news for the Mocs is that the check they get from this butt whipping won’t bounce. Larry’s loser – Tennessee

Alabama at Arkansas – There’s nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal and Alabama has more than their feelings hurt after last Saturday’s slap down by the Rebels. Saban and company know that the season isn’t over, but they can’t afford another loss in the SEC.

Meanwhile, these hogs just gave the number six team in the country a run for their money and lost it all in overtime but they did leave with the confidence that they can ball with the best and maybe just beat them as well.

But Pigs don’t fly in this one as Alabama goes back to business and when it’s over, the longer tusks of the Tuscaloosa tribe trump the short snout tusks of these hapless Hogs. Larry’s loser – Arkansas

Charleston Southern at Vanderbilt – Who would have thought that a battle of sailors would break out in land locked Nashville? But that’s just what happens when Buccaneers come visiting these Song City Sailors of the SEC.

This season has seen Vanderbilt go to Vanderbust and nobody needs an easy week and cheap win more that these oft conquered Commodores. While there’s no bowl game in this team’s future, a second win would be a success in this season and they’re going to shoot for small successes like this the rest of the season.

So for another yawner that doesn’t deserve television time, skip this game and finish watching the Bama / Hogfest or the Bayou Bengal and Gator grunting that’ll transpire about the same time. Larry’s loser – Charleston Southern

LSU at Florida – What a difference a year makes. LSU is usually the team that is in the mix for the top spot in the SEC West and this season they’re fighting to stay out of the cellar, so these Cajun Kitties are going to fight, scratch and claw to keep themselves from being the Vanderbust of the West.

Meanwhile, Muschamp’s Mud Puppies are just trying to salvage a season that could keep the coach on the sidelines. The Gainesville Gators are lucky to be 3-1 so far and hoping that luck will soon give way to skill.

The boys in Vegas see this as almost a pick ’em and home field is usually the deciding factor, that’s in Florida’ favor, LSU has already lost two games to Florida’s one, so that’s in Florida’s favor, but LSU has Les Miles and with him, you never know what to expect and that could sure help LSU. The main thing in this contest is that even the worst team in the West could beat one of the best of the East and that’s how we’re going. Larry’s loser – Florida

Ole Miss at Texas A&M – Ole Miss is riding high after pummeling the pachyderms last week and this week they aim to style in Kyle field and start to cement their spot atop the SEC in this nighttime knockdown and noggin bashing thrashing.

Meanwhile, Texas A&M wants the world to know that though they tripped up against the other big Mississippi team, they got the firepower to outpoint the Rebels if they can get the thrill from Kenny Hill.

This could come down to the team that makes the fewest mistakes or it could simply come down to who has the ball last, but it’s going to be a thriller and given the nasty habit of the upset bug for biting the top teams, we’re doing in that direction on this one as number three falls to number 14. Larry’s loser – Ole Miss

Well that’s it for this week folks, we went with two upsets ourselves to try and tame the game of guessing the unlucky losers on this list. But given the way this season has gone so far, who knows if the upset bug flies the other way in another game.

Hope you enjoyed some of the blasts from the past pictures. It just goes to prove that everything old is new again.

Larry has been published in almost every media outlet for college sports and now primarily writes here for Touchdown Alabama. Follow Larry on Twitter for inside thoughts and game time comments at https://twitter.com/LBSportswriter