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Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Week 8


Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Week 8

By: Larry Burton


Well sports fans, here we are at week eight already, the halfway point of the year and even with this many games played, nobody can tell for sure who the real winners and losers will be by week 16. The upset bug is biting like an Ethiopian pyranha this season and while we’ve missed a few, we got one out of two upsets called right last week. This week we only see one upset of sorts on the horizon, but it may or may not come through for us.

Auburn is off this week and will need it recover from the plucking those War Eagles took at the behest of the Bulldogs. This year both teams from Alabama have found out that heading next door to Mississippi ain’t the fun time visits they used to be. In fact, for Alabama, heading west hasn’t been a cakewalk at any stadium in the SEC.

Mississippi hasn't been to kind to either Alabama team and they have to try it again soon.

Mississippi hasn’t been to kind to either Alabama team and they have to try it again soon.

So let’s just get to it and let the losing fan base lament over this list of losers while the others laugh themselves silly.

Furman at South Carolina – Quick! Who knows what the Furman mascot is? It’s a Paladin. Next, who knows what a Paladin is? It’s some sort of silly warrior in King Charlemagne‘s court. Now for the last question: Who cares?

So coming of a bye week, these Carolina Cluckers get another week off as this week’s creme puff shows up at another SEC school for a butt kicking and big paycheck and these big red Peckers will be sure to give them both.

Maybe the Old Ball Coach just wanted two weeks to get ready for those Tigers from down state Alabama, but he’ll get his win this week even if he doesn’t get another 11 win season this time around. Larry’s loser – Furman

Maybe the Gamecock's soccer team won't disappoint fans like the football team has.

Maybe the Gamecock’s soccer team won’t disappoint fans like the football team has.

Texas A&M at Alabama – These Texans travel down to Tuscaloosa to try and trip the Tide and they think that with the Alabama offense stuck in neutral, that they can pile on the points painfully for the Pachyderms.

Nick Saban’s spent the last week woefully warring with his warriors to end the string of miscues and maladies that have menaced his men and he hopes that his “Come to Jesus” revivals he’s been holding at practice time have converted the Crimson to become conquerors again.

While it’s true that the offense seems to get left at home when they’ve traveled this year, for Tide fans the good news is that their at home for this one so maybe the Crimson crowd can keep up with the anticipated Aggie track meet. Larry’s loser – Texas A&M

Not even the A&M Mascot Reveille can bear to watch this one.

Not even the A&M Mascot Reveille can bear to watch this one.

Georgia at Arkansas – Mark Richt knows that the Tide was glad to ride home with their pride after they almost died at the hands of the hogs, so he’s knows he better bring a bunch of bad new Bulldogs to this contest or he’s in big trouble.

These boys from Arkansas are hungier for an SEC win than a shipwrecked sailor is for a fat steak and sooner or later, they’re gonna wind up on the winning side of one of these SEC contests.

Trouble is, that is won’t be this game and Georgia is just a little too good on offense for these Hogs to root out a win on this Saturday. Larry’s loser – Arkansas

Georgia won't mind making a house call this week.

Georgia won’t mind making a house call this week.

Tennessee at Ole Miss – Coach Butch Jones has these very volatile Volunteers vying for wins this season and they almost beat Georgia and they almost beat Florida and they’re just so close to getting it all together that they can taste it.

But young gun coach Hugh Freeze about about to roll out a welcome mat on this night game and offer these Tennesseeans any hospitality. He’s got that team focused on a bigger prize down the road and won’t be vandalized by these Volunteers.

If Ole Miss is riding too high and equally high on their headlines and hype they could just be hammered this Saturday, but the pigskin’ pickin’ pooch has assured me that they’re not looking past these orange clad pad slappers. Larry’s loser – Tennesee

For Tennessee, it's the recipe for disaster with Ole Miss

For Tennessee, it’s the recipe for disaster with Ole Miss


Missouri at Florida – This might just be a good matchup as the Gators are showing more wins and the Tigers are showing less. The question in this game will be has Florida risen higher than Missouri has fallen?

Gary Pinkel has proven that he coach in the SEC and that his Midwest mewowers are up to the task too, but this has proven to be a rebuilding year with the Tigers and they just don’t seem to be scratching like they did last season.

But that gaggle of Gainesville Gators don’t look so hot this year either, although they’re a darn sight better than they were last year. This one could be close, but the upset bug’s gonna take a mild bite in this one and Florida will finish this game at three and three when it’s over. Larry’s loser – Missouri

Missouri surrenders early in this game.

Missouri surrenders early in this game.

Kentucky at LSU – Last up is the contest of an over achieving Wildcat and an underwhelming Tiger. This contest is gonna take place in the backyard of the bayou and they’ll be some electricity in the air that ain’t the lighting kind.

These usual mild cats turned wild this year and here at the halfway point of the season, here they are tied for first in the East with a surprising 5-1 record and they think they can topple these troubled Tigers who are a step down from their former selves this season and they’ve done it before!

But Les Miles is on his own tasty turf on a Saturday night and when that happens, his tribe of Tabbies are usually terrific, so look for things to get a little more normal in the SEC as Kentucky takes a licking from an SEC foe, but don’t be surprised to see an upset here! Larry’s loser – (after much debate) Kentucky

Most fans don't realize that Kentucky has won 6 of the last 13 contests between the two including the next to last meeting.

Most fans don’t realize that Kentucky has won 6 of the last 13 contests between the two including the next to last meeting.

And that’s it for this week folks! Since South Carolina is playing a perfect patsy we may just have ’em all right this week. But let’s butter the popcorn and ice down the drinks and settle in see for ourselves and see how the selections played out. Till next week, Bacardi the Wonder Dog and I  wish you happy footballing and may be worst team lose.

 Larry’s Losers in the SEC has been irreverently having fun with the games of the SEC for more than 10 years. Pardon the colloquial language in irreverent humor of the column as it is meant in a non insulting way to the losers or other participants. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column, but some feelings might have been hurt along the way.
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