Larry’s Losers in The SEC – Week 12

By: Larry Burton

Well folks, we expected prognostication perfection last week, but Auburn doing their “War Dead Eagle” impression against Texas A&M caused us to come up one game short. We sure didn’t expect a 21 point favorite to fold and they did almost win, if it weren’t for a second. Fumble that is.

And this week the upset bug is just licking their chomps at all the places that they could easily chomp down on. In fact all six contests of SEC vs SEC teams could be a game that the upset bug bites in. So the pigskin picking pug and I are both a little gun shy about stepping in and sorting out these SEC scraps and we’ve finally come up with a list of losers we think will go great, so with no further ado, here we go.

South Carolina at Florida – Steve Spurrier brings his Carolina Cluckers down to the swamp this weekend in hopes of getting both this win and his pecking pullets in shape for a post season party.

But Will Muschamp’s sizeable swamp salamanders know that a win here can not only keep them in the SEC East race, but assure them of some postseason playtime for themselves as well as maybe saving their coach’s caboose.

This is a game that could easily go either way, so when you’re in doubt, go with the team with the hot hand in their home stadium and that’s just what we’re going to do. Larry’s loser – South Carolina

Mississippi State at Alabama – Dan’s Doggies are drooling over delighting the delegates in the college playoff committee and they know if they can make it through this week, they could almost go ahead and punch their ticket to the big time this year.

But Nick Saban and his pack of pachyderms have their back against the wall and they know they can’t make it to the big dance with a misstep here, so they’re aiming to neuter these dogs and get in the pound as soon as possible.

These could be the best two teams in the SEC, and this game could be the REAL SEC championship game and in those kinds of games, you know who to go with, or you don’t know Nick. Larry’s loser – Mississippi State

Kentucky at Tennessee – Bob Stoops season has been one of ups and downs so far and he’s hoping that he can travel down to Tennessee and vanquish these Volunteers. He knows one more win will get them to the promised land of post season.

But Butch Jones has finally broke into SEC success and he and has hillbillies like the way it tasted and they figure they can skin this cat and get themselves in position for a little post season party themselves with a win in this one.

Both these teams have been hot and cold, but the volunteers have been have been a little less cold and with a hot crowd behind them, they may just have what it takes to take one of the Cat’s nine lives. Larry’s loser – Kentucky

Auburn at Georgia – Last week Auburn saw their playoff hopes sink like the Titanic but this week they’re hoping to position themselves to still win the west if a half a deck of cards fall their way.

Meanwhile Mark’s Mutt’s welcome back to the pound the big dog back to the pack. Mark Gurley is itching to show everyone what they’ve been missing and that ain’t because of his fleas.

This is a chance for both teams to show that they’re still a top notch squad and deserving of a third chance but only one can do so. This could be a real doosie and I believe you could flip a coin in this one, but both old Bacardi and I feel like this one will be the Dog day afternoon. Larry’s loser – Auburn

 

Missouri at Texas A&M – Missouri is sitting in the driver’s seat in the SEC East and they know they better buckle up against this bunch of Texas farm hands or they’ll be bumped from the bus that’s headed to Hotlanta.

And while Kevin  Sumlin knows that the ship has already sailed for his SEC dreams, he can still barrel his boys in a bowl brawl with a big cash haul, so there’s still a lot of incentive for the tame these Tabby Cats.

This is another one of those games that could go either way, but once again, when in doubt go with the hot home team and that’s what we’re doing here. Larry’s loser – Missouri

LSU at Arkansas – Les Miles takes his troop of Tabbies up to Arkansas to try and get his Tigers back in the winning ways and get an early reservation to one of the more upscale bowls.

But Bret’s Bovines know that maybe it’s easier to kick a Tiger while he’s down and these Cajun Kitties crashed pretty hard last week and he’s hoping to break into the SEC win column and break the Bayou Bengals hears as well.

But it looks like the Hogs should just start concentrating on next season to break into SEC success as these Cats will prove they may have more than nine lives. Larry’s loser – Arkansas

 

And that’s it, for one of the best weeks of the year in the whole SEC season. If you don’t find a game that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck this week, go ahead and call the local funeral home for a coffin catnap. From the first game to the last, they’re all gonna be some teams flying and some teams crying but they’ll all be great games worth the gander.

And if you can’t watch them all, record the ones you miss and watch them next week during cupcake week in the SEC. With only two decent games to watch, you’ll be glad you have something better recorded.

Till then, the Wonder Dog and I will getting ready for the end of the year blitz where the picking will be practically hair pulling to end this season in style. Until then, he’s still compensating for all the upset losses with pizza.

 Larry’s Losers in the SEC has been irreverently having fun with the games of the SEC for more than 10 years. Pardon the colloquial language and irreverent humor of the column as it is meant in a non insulting way to the losers or other participants. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column, but some feelings might have been hurt along the way.