Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Week Nine
By: Larry Burton
Hello folks from the decks of the lovely Royal Caribbean ship Vision of the Seas. Bacardi is with our son in the Florida Keys and sent me an email with his take on the picks today and nobody’s manning the post in Panama City Beach except a house sitter and a burglar alarm.
This past weekend was yet another perfect pigskin predicting parlay and maybe this just proves that I need to take more vacations during the season.
With the internet and Satellite TV on this Tub, we don’t plan on missing a beat, so as we putt putt through the Panama Canal, here are this week’s picks.
Georgia and Florida at Jacksonville, Fl. – The world’s largest cocktail party is on and while many thought this would be for the SEC East title, Georgia’s earlier loss has simply made this a great game to watch and one for Florida not to stumble in.
Will Muschamp knows that he’s in a game that he must win to keep those dreams of Hotlanta from turning into a nightmare and he’s to try and punt these pooches from any chance of reclaiming any chance of doing it themselves.
Mark Richt won’t have a bad season even with this loss, but it’s just one more year when all that talent goes to waste when it comes to taking this team to the next step in the SEC.
Larry’s loser – Georgia
Kentucky at Missouri – Missouri hasn’t had the easiest season slipping into the SEC this year, but can you say, “Thank God for Kentucky”? Well these Tigers can as they enjoy finally matching up with an SEC they can master.
If the forces in the NCAA were humane and these Kentucky Kitties real animals, I would suggest that we just put them down and spare them for continuing their SEC portion of the schedule and put them out of what must be an agonizing misery.
But that can’t happen and it will have to play out and the only thing interesting that will come from this game is just how bad the Mildcats stink it up.
Larry’s loser – Kentucky
Tennessee at South Carolina – Steve Spurrier has the spurs on these Gamecocks pretty sharp this season and when the Vols come visiting, he plans on pecking and spurring them into quick and solid submission.
Derek Dooley has a much better team this year than he did last year, the only problem is that the record doesn’t show it. They have a great offense and a defense that is finding their legs and he’s hoping to pull of an upset.
Soon, Tennessee will knock off a team they aren’t supposed to, they’re getting that good, the only problem is that this isn’t that week.
Larry’s loser – Tennessee
University of Massachusetts at Vanderbilt – Let’s just not even try and get cute here. UMass is a big mess! This is a team that will make the Commodores look like a pro team.
I’d like to say that every team has a chance, but this isn’t every team. It’s a team that got slaughtered by such teams as Western Michigan and Miami (of Ohio).
Unless the world comes to an end, Vanderbilt should cakewalk through this team and get a victory.
Larry’s loser – UMass
Mississippi State at Alabama – Dan Mullen’s Dogs bring a 7-0 record and the best national rating they’ve had in quite some time into Tuscaloosa and he’s hoping the Bulldogs have enough confidence to topple the Tide.
But these Tuscaloosa tuskers ain’t about to tangle with pound pooches and come out with anything less than another win and a beat down of these Bulldogs.
With the game they had last week, the Bulldogs may have well had a week off, but the creme puff team they played last week won’t help them now.
Larry’s loser – Mississippi State
Ole Miss at Arkansas – Will the real team please stand up? Ole Miss has looked good at times and bad, same for Arkansas. That’s what makes this a tough one to pick because you’re never sure which team will show up.
Arkansas looked great beating up on Auburn, but then so did Ole Miss. I guess that’s Auburn’s mission this year, to make middle of the road SEC teams look great.
But since that’s the only game that Arkansas has looked good in this year, Bacardi and I both feel that the Rebels will continue their climb and the pigs continue to be pitiful.
Larry’s loser – Arkansas
Texas A&M at Auburn – Looking back at pre-season, you really have to wonder what people were thinking by making this terrible Tigers a top 25 team. Now no one can think of twenty five teams in all of football they could beat.
This season, all football fans will learn how long a national championship can buy you as a head coach. Gene Chizik’s seat is so hot that if he dared to fart, he’d likely explode.
Meanwhile, Kevin Sumlin will be more than happy to take his tribe to the other big agricultural academia in the SEC and leave with a win. Let’s just see how ugly they make it in doing so.
Larry’s loser – Auburn
LSU – Gets the week off to try and figure out what has eluded every other team, how do you stop a enraged elephant?
And that’s it for this week folks. I got to run, I’m sure they’re serving another seven course meal somewhere on this floating food ship. As long as I remember what time the ship leaves all these ports, I’ll see you back here next week for the likely list of losers for week ten.