Larry’s Losers In The SEC – Week 6 – 2013
By Larry Burton
Except for Alabama, this is all SEC week where it’s all in house conference brawling and squalling for the losers. In last weeks pack of picks, we got the LSU – Georgia game wrong, but that was a game we knew could go either way. Our seven out of eight game guessing sounds good, but we hate to be so close to perfect and miss a close one.
But losing a pick last week isn’t what’s making us sad, it’s the fact that these are the week 6 picks and the regular season is soon to be half over already! Where does the time go and why do the best things in life pass so quickly?
While this week has some easy to pick games, there’s some that are making the hair on the back on pigskin pickin’ pug’s back stand up. There’s still upsets to be had and we don’t want to miss them.
Georgia State at Alabama – The last time the Tide had a pushover game that followed a big SEC win, it was closer than most thought it should have been and the offense sputtered greatly. New Panther head coach Trent Miles is hoping that history repeats itself and he can keep his kitties calm enough to hang in the fight and leave with a respectable loss.
But Nick Saban and his leathery long noses aren’t about to get complacent with this pack of Panthers and he’ll send them down the road with a big fat paycheck and a severe butt whipping.
Larry’s Loser – Georgia State
Arkansas at Florida – Here’s a game of two teams trying to get back where they were a few years ago. Since losing to Miami and since losing their starting quarterback, the Gators seemed to have rallied around the backup QB found a spark the spark on offense they were looking for.
Meanwhile, the Hogs have been hunted and shot down by Rutgers Rattling boys in armor and then barbequed by the Aggies. Both Bacardi and I feel there’s a lot of fight in these Hogs as they put up a good fight against those Aggies, but this won’t be the week that it’ll matter a whole lot as these Gators dine on pork this weekend.
Larry’s Loser – Arkansas
Ole Miss at Auburn – Auburn was shown in their last game against each other that everybody in the SEC has a place and that Auburn’s is near the bottom, but head coach Gus Malzahn thinks his catatonic Kitties can claw their way back up the ranks with a big win this week.
However, the Ole Miss coach is planning to put a Freeze on that idea and keep the pecking order in the SEC where it is right now. The question is, how will the Rebels handle the pummeling from the pachyderms from the week before and will there be enough gas in the tank to tame a Tiger?
This game will tell us a lot about the heart of one team and how the building process is going for the other, but we feel both go back to their former ways, with one winning and the other sucking in the SEC.
Larry’s Loser – Auburn
LSU at Mississippi State – Les Miles brings his bayou Bengals from Baton Rouge up to the bright lights of Starkvegas to take on Dan Mullen’s Mutts. Les ‘ Tigers are just biding their time for the big games to come down the road and they don’t really think these dogs have a bark, much less a bite. They really want to get back to their winning ways and put that other tussle with the other Bulldogs behind them.
These Bulldogs have been buried in mediocrity for a while now and a win against a big time boy like these Cajun Kitties would help take the heat off the seat of their head coach. But that’s not gonna happen this week and coach Mullen would be better off trying to find some asbestos underwear because these Tigers aren’t going to be bitten by a Bulldog two weeks in a row.
Larry’s Loser – Mississippi State
Texas A&M has the week off and they’ll need it to rest up for the Rebels next week.
Georgia at Tennessee – Mark Richt may have his regular season game of the year last week against the Cajun Kitties in a game that could only be described as a shoot out.
Vol Coach Butch Jones is hoping that Mark’s Mutts are still celebrating that win and will overlook a bunch of overdue Vols from winning in this series. While that could happen, pigs may learn to fly one day too.
Larry’s Loser – Tennessee
Kentucky at South Carolina – Poor Kentucky, if there’s a worse team in the SEC than these Mildcats, I haven’t seen them in action this year.
Now we know the Old Ball Coach would run the score up on his mother’s Sunday School class, so Stoops Siamese Tabbies better get ready for a lesson in SEC beat downs.
Larry’s Loser – Kentucky
Missouri at Vanderbilt – So far this season, head coach Gary Pinkel has traveled his Tigers through the early season without a loss. Now it’s time to play in the SEC and a case of reality. Though Missouri has looked good so far this season, Bacardi the Wonder Dog thinks this game could be an unexpected blowout win.
James Franklin has certainly transformed this Tennessee tribe of troubadours into a regular SEC team that can play with anybody and beat most of them, so when these song city sailors try and tame a Tiger, expect some smooth sailing.
Larry’s Loser – Missori
So that’s it for this week, the sad halfway point through the season. If there’s anything that we’ve learned with half the regular season games almost already having been played, it’s that this is the SEC, where good teams can have a bad week, bad teams can have a good week and that the only thing you can be sure about is that you can’t be sure about much.
So get to the store early enough to get your game time grub, plan your Saturday around some sizzling SEC stories and pray that your favorite team doesn’t land on Larry’s list of losers. Ok Dog, we’re done, now where’s my slippers?
Larry is an award winning writer whose work has appeared in almost every college football venue. Now he primarily writes for Touchdown Alabama Magazine. This series of “Larry’s Losers” is a tribute to an old Southern favorite of my youth, “Leanord’s Losers”. Follow Larry on Twitter at https://twitter.com/LBSportswriter