Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Week 12 – 2013

By Larry Burton

Hello again folks from the world’s most beautiful and coldest beach. Even here in beautiful Panama City Beach, Florida, the temperatures are dropping faster than Les Miles’ approval ratings. All the cooler air means we’re getting down to the games that separate the teams from the top bowls to the Toilet Bowl.

Teams that lose now won’t have time to claw their way back up and there’s a lot of contests that are going to be hard ones to figure out to boot. Last week we were oh so close, but Florida was far more finished than we knew and that shows us why it’s always tough to pick the upsets.

So without further ado, let’s take a look at the list of likely losers according the deliberations from the deliberating dog and me in this week of few games.

Troy at Ole Miss – Starting of the Saturday swaray at 11:00am (all times CST), the men of Troy sharpen their swords and sashay down to Oxford to try and wrangle the Rebels and root and win that would shock the South.

But the Rebel head coach is gonna put a Freeze on that idea and the corn fed confederates will cause catastrophic calamities that will calculate into a colossal victory for the men from Mississippi and the men from Troy will look like boys.

Larry’s Loser – Troy

Kentucky at Vanderbilt – At the always aggravating time of 11:21, the Mildcats of Kentucky travel down to Tennessee to take on the Song City sailors and they’ll try and not look like the worst team in the SEC.

But Vandy’s sensational skipper, James Franklin, won’t give any quarter to these quirky kitties and this will just be one more game in the tally for a trip to a better bowl for these can do Commodores. The only question in this game is how bad Vandy makes them look.

Larry’s Loser – Kentucky

Georgia at Auburn – At 2:30pm, Saturday’s most interesting scrimmage will take place on the plains when the beat up Bulldogs barrel into Barntown to take on the Tigers. Georgia has been healing up and Mark’s mutts feel like they can ground the War Eagles and end Auburn’s dreams of a quick comeback in the SEC.

But Auburn thinks they can run roughshod through these pack of pooches and produce enough points to positively portray themselves as winners. Bacardi the Wonder Dog reminds me that the boys in Bet City have picked the Plainsmen to punt the runts of the Bulldog brigade to the curb, but we think they’ve been smoking herb. We’re going for the upset here if the Dog’s running backs can stay healthy.

Larry’s Loser – Auburn

Florida at South Carolina – The first night game at 6:00pm sees the reptiles from Gainesville gather in the hen house in Columbia and hope that they can stop the silliness and play some serious football once again and maybe make it into bowl season anywhere but their couches at home.

But these Carolina cluckers aren’t about to be fricasseed in front of friendly fans and they’re aiming to pop them with their peckers till the Gators are gashed and out of gas. One has to wonder how the Old Ball Coach will feel ripping his old reptiles a new one, but something tells me he won’t mind that much.

Larry’s Loser – Florida

Alabama at Mississippi State – The SEC swan song for this week opens at 6:45pm in Starkvegas as that pack of pachyderms parade into Mississippi to try and trample the troubled Dogs from Dan’s dog pound.

Dan Mullen needs another SEC win more than his boys need flea collars, but this ain’t the night he’ll get one. It’s a shame they made this the prime time game of shame. Nobody is real interested in seeing Alabama beat up the second worst team in the SEC, so even Tide fans will be tempted to tune to the 2, ESPN that is, to watch a much more entertaining game.

Larry’s Loser – Mississippi State

Larry is an award winning writer whose work has appeared in almost every college football venue. Now he primarily writes for Touchdown Alabama Magazine. This series of “Larry’s Losers” is a tribute to an old Southern favorite of my youth, “Leanord’s Losers”. Follow Larry on Twitter at https://twitter.com/LBSportswriter