Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Week 11 – 2013
By Larry Burton
Hello again folks, the old pigskin’ pickin’ pooch and I have pondered prognostications for practically the whole week and we think we’re just about due for another perfect week. Last week the gang of Gators got gassed before the could finish the comeback against the Bulldogs or we’d have a perfect pack of picks last week.
Now this week is full of fingernail chewing games too and the upset bug has been biting the SEC all season long, so despite the diligence of our deliberations, we aren’t as confident as we’d like to be with some of these picks, but as Bacardi the Wonderdog always says, “Every dog has his day” and maybe this one is his.
So without and further chit or chat, let’s get this prognosticating program going.
Vanderbilt at Florida – Starting off the Saturday morning swaray at 11:00am (all times CST), are the Song City Sailors looking for some calm water in Florida. These SEC wonder boys have gone from cellar dwellers to a perennial SEC bowl team and they’d like to advance their lot in the bowl parade with another impressive SEC win against the Gators who were gutted last week by a bevy of Bulldogs.
While the chance is shot to be in Hotlanta this fall in the SEC Championship Game, these Gators aren’t going to let these salty sailors mount a Gator head on the wall without a fight. This one could be really close and it could come down to a late rally be the winning team. I’m ready to give up on the Gators, but the Pug is just downright adamant on this one.
Larry’s Loser – Vanderbilt
Missouri at Kentucky – Also at 11:00am, the Tigers come to Kentucky to visit their poor cousins, the Mildcats. I hate to kick a kitty when their down, but these Kentucky Kitties are some pitiful pussy cats.
For Missouri, nothing’s better than an easy SEC win to keep their hold on first place in the SEC East and it won’t get any easier than this. Watch the Vandy – Gator game, especially if you’re a Kentucky fan, it’ll be a lot more interesting.
Larry’s Loser – Kentucky
Auburn at Tennessee – The last of the 11:00am games, the War Eagles fly North to Neyland Stadium and they’ll violate the Vols by crapping on the fans before landing.
It’s not like the Vols aren’t expecting this kind of humiliation, but it’s always tough to have a packed house watch you get the crap beat out of you as easily as the War Eagles drop it on the fans. Auburn better relish their good fortune because bad things are coming their way soon.
Larry’s Loser – Tennessee
Arkansas at Ole Miss – At the ever annoying 11:21 start time, the Hogs that didn’t wind up with barbeque sauce on them in last week’s sashay down to Oxford that turned into a slaughter. This week they’ll try earn back a little self esteem in the SEC.
Except for the Alabama game, these Rebels haven’t looked too bad this year and they’re not going to take kindly to a pack of pigs trying to trash their troops with their tusks. But while that may happen in a few years, it won’t be this year.
Larry’s Loser – Arkansas
Appalachian State at Georgia – In the last of the morning games, 11:30 will see the Mountaineers from the Appalach Hills take a trip down to the flat lands of Athens to see if they can pull of another monumental upset like the one they pulled off a few years ago against Michigan.
But they’ll soon learn that this ain’t no over rated Big Ten glass jawed jellyfish and the only thing they’ll upset is the fans who will be bored to tears watching this travesty. The dogs can the day off and enjoy this one.
Larry’s Loser – Appalachian State
Mississippi State at Texas A&M – In the only afternoon game in the SEC, this 2:30pm kickoff will see the battered Bulldogs from the wrong side of the pound try and aggravate the Aggies and pull off an upset win.
But instead, the signing signal caller will autograph their asses and kick those curs to the curb with the rest of the garbage. If those Dogs thought that the Gamecocks should be reported to the ASPCA for their treatment of the these pooches, then they’re really going to be upset with the points they see on the scoreboard this week.
Larry’s Loser – Mississippi State
LSU at Alabama – In the nighttime 7:00pm ending to week 11 in the SEC, LSU comes back to Bryant Denny Stadium and hope to recreate the magic like thelast time they traveled there to take on the tusked ones in Tuscaloosa. Two years ago the rolled the Tide.
But since that game, Saban has stymied the corn dog king and that pack of pachyderms has pummeled the pupils of the Les is more school of footballing. They say an elephant doesn’t forget, so look for the Tide for play for pride and take back the bragging rights to their own field of footballs.
Larry’s Loser – LSU
Well that’s it for this week folks, we are sliding down the backside of this football season real quickly now and a perfect week or two could really help our average before the fat lady sings. If we can just figure out Missouri, I think we’ll be alright.
Ok dog, I hear you, maybe we’ll both go outside and water the grass, then you can go find my slippers.
Larry is an award winning writer whose work has appeared in almost every college football venue. Now he primarily writes for Touchdown Alabama Magazine. This series of “Larry’s Losers” is a tribute to an old Southern favorite of my youth, “Leanord’s Losers”. Follow Larry on Twitter at https://twitter.com/LBSportswriter