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Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Part Two – Bowl Games From Jan 1 and On

Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Part Two – Bowl Games From Jan 1 and On

By: Larry Burton

Well fans, the SEC is off to a great start and so far, only South Carolina and LSU have proved me wrong. The Carolina Cluckers didn’t cluck up as I thought they would. They have simply killed me all season long. But I think the refs screwed those Bayou Begals from corn dog country out of a win, but you can’t cry over spilled milk and touchdowns that aren’t counted. As predicted the Hogs blew out the Bovines from Texas just proving the SEC’s worst team is better than the flagship of other conferences.

Now we enter the post champagne popping parties with the games that will shape the final contenders in the college countdown and with me back in the States with the pigskin pickin’ pooch by my side, we feel that we got these last games down like nobody’s business.

So take your hangover medication, get your snacks ready and settle in for some more football fun time. Here we go with the picks:

Auburn vs Wisconsin – Jan 1 – With newly purchased tires, the Gus Bus pulls up to the Outback Bowl in Tampa with renewed hope that the Tigers have found their prey in some Big 10 Badgers and can end this season on a high note.

But these Badgers figure on taming this Tiger and new head coach Paul Chryst is hoping that Santa will give him a little “Chrystmas” present and have his first bowl game as a Badger go down in history’s good side.

But in the end, that “Malzhan Magic Smoke and Mirror” offense is easy to decipher, but only if you’ve played it a time or two and this time this Badgers won’t know who’s got the ball as they just scurry around looking for someone to tackle. Larry’s loser – Wisconsin

The War Eagles just proved a little mightier than the Big Ten Badger boys.

The War Eagles just proved a little mightier than the Big Ten Badger boys.

Missouri vs Minnesota – Jan 1 – Gary Pinkel’s Pussycats had some ups and downs this season and that last game left a bad taste in their mouth, so they’re planning on showing the world that when it comes to messing with one of the new SEC teams, you’re going to be in “No Man Left Standing” territory.

Now you gotta love a coach with a name like Jery Kill and the Gophers coach has instructed his bucktoothed boys to gnaw through those Tigers and don’t take prisoners. These boys don’t seem scared of all that SEC hoopla and they aim to bring a conference win back to the Big Ten and end all this “Dominance” talk.

But wanting to win is one thing and doing it is another and when it comes to delivering a little “Big Ten” dominance, they better try that out on another conference. Larry’s loser – Minnesota

Gary Pinkel's got the traps all laid out, now let's see if they work.

Gary Pinkel’s got the traps all laid out, now let’s see if they work.

Alabama vs Ohio State – Jan 1 – Saban brings his pack of Pachyderms down to the big easy with hopes of having an easy king of win against a team that slid into the playoffs by the skin of their teeth and then getting ready for the real business in the next game.

And Urban Meyers bunch of Buckeyes are just hoping and praying that this Elephant does forget and considers this just another Ohio State team that rolls over and plays dead for Alabama every time they meet. They are gonna play like they’ve got nothing to lose because let’s face it, they don’t. Nobody considers them a threat and that alone makes them dangerous.

But Nick has cracked more talented teams than this bunch of Big Ten tree nuts and he’ll do it again. The only question is does Urban do his Fred Samford impression and have “The Big One” watching this game unfold? Larry’s loser – Ohio State

Ohio State fans ignoring results of Alabama games.

Ohio State fans ignoring results of Alabama games.

Well that’s it for this week folks. We’ll be back for one final loser, the biggest loser on the biggest stage. And while we have a idea who’ll be partnered up at that dance, that’s another article for another day.

In the meantime, have a Happy New Year and dream the dreams of a New Year without your team listed in Larry’s Losers column. Till next week, enjoy the bowl games and remember, while winning isn’t everything, it beats the hell out of losing.

 Larry’s Losers in the SEC has been irreverently having fun with the games of the SEC for more than 10 years. Pardon the colloquial language and irreverent humor of the column as it is meant in a non insulting way to the losers or other participants. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column, but some feelings might have been hurt along the way.



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