Larry’s loser in the SEC – Week 6 – 2015

By: Larry Burton

Well fans welcome to the shortest week of the season with  so many teams taking a week off, so the pigskin pickin’ pooch and I don’t feel guilty for taking off too. While I’m taking in Tahiti in the South Seas, Bacardi the Wonder Dog is spending time with his friends on the sands of Panama City Beach, but don’t fret folks, he’s skyping with me every day to get is two cents in on all these picks and with the internet onboard the Pacific Princess, I can keep these picks coming to you too.

Last week we saw some pretty impressive wins, some losses that just killed the soul of teams  and the upset bug was hungry trying to bite everything in site.

This was our worst week ever missing three of the nine contests. That’s got us down to a season low 85% accuracy rate and while it’s low for Larry’s Loser’s standards, we’re still conquering the competition as we always do.

We don’t feel bad missing the Florida / Ole Miss mess, as no one got that one right and who would’ve seen that one coming? As for missing the Vandy game, that one went to OT and the Tennessee game I maybe should have seen. Those Vols are as flat as the chest of a third grade girl, but I still thought that talent would see them through. But enough about lamenting over spilled milk, let’s just jump into this week and try and get a perfect week to raise those ratings back up.

 Arkansas at Alabama – If you’re a Pig in search of place to find a win in the SEC, maybe the last place you should travel is Tuscaloosa, but Brett’s Bovines are doing just that this weekend and hope to catch that Crimson clan looking ahead to eyeing the Aggies in next week’s clash.

But Nick Saban ain’t about to let his pack of Pachyderm look past these pesky pigs because an elephant never forgets and this one won’t forget how lucky they were last season in escaping the Pig pen with a win, so he’ll have his herd ready to squash these sows.

Though many think this could be a close game again this year, both Bacardi and I smell a blowout of these Bovines and the Tide rolls big in this one. No post Georgia letdown in this one. Larry’s loser – Arkansas

Troy at Mississippi State – The Dogs aren’t running with the big boys too well this year and luckily for them, a big boy didn’t come to town this week to trouble them. The Trojans of Troy travel to Starkvegas in hopes of rolling the dice and getting lucky against an SEC teams.

But with Dan Mullen counting wins to get a bowl this season, he isn’t about to let this cupcake cause him consternation and he’ll sick his Dogs on these boys from Bama and send them scurrying .

The Bulldogs finally look tough again, at least in this contest and the outcome will go as expected. Larry’s loser – Troy

Florida at Missouri – The Gators travel north to the home of the Mighty Missourians who aren’t that mighty this season and Jim’s jungle jawed reptiles are planning on getting their chomps in while the big Cat is in misery.

But every year since they’ve been in the SEC, Pinkel’s Pussycats have found a way to surprise folks and they are planning to take these Snappers by the tail and snafu their season by sneaking in a win in front of the home folks.

But in the end, those growling Gators get a Tiger by the tail and drag them down to the deep before the final whistle and that makes Larry’s loser – Missouri

New Mexico State at Ole Miss – A non SEC type of Aggie amble into Ole Miss this weekend and hope to leave with a big check and a little dignity but they’ll only leave with one of those things.

Coach Hugh aims to Freeze any talk of an upset in this one and he’s gonna let his Rebels run wild in this contest and keep the scoreboard secretary busy adding numbers to the home team’s tally.

This one could get ugly folks as the Rebels are sore losers and they want to show folks that last week doesn’t mean these Rebels are ready to raise a white flag again any time soon. Larry’s loser – New Mexico State

LSU at South Carolina – Les Miles brings the Cajun Cat show to the hen house and home of the Carolina Cluckers this weekend and aims to pilfer a prized pullet or two for a barbecue this Saturday.

But the Old Ball Coach is devising dastardly designs on how to pause this Pussycat problem and come out of this contest with the win in his column.

The problem is, he didn’t beat LSU when he had a good team and he sure won’t do it with this pack of poor Pullets. Larry’s loser – South Carolina

 

Georgia at Tennessee – The Volunteers brace for an onslaught of Bulldogs to come calling at their door this Saturday and they aim to have their muskets ready and their powder dry with the goal of banishing these Bulldogs back to the red clay state without a win.

Last week the Bulldogs played like pitiful puppies, but Mark’s Mutts didn’t make this trip to go back home without a bone and they won’t as the rip a few from the Volunteers on Saturday.

This was the year that the Volunteers were to dry their tears and get back to the top, but this week proves that Tennessee’s “wait ’till next year” chant will be heard once again this year. At the rate they’re going, they may not even make a bowl game. Larry’s loser – Tennessee

Larry has been published in almost every media outlet for college sports and now primarily writes here for Touchdown Alabama. He writes is a colloquial and irreverent style for this series of articles. Larry’s views and sense of humor may offend, but he aims to offend everyone equally. If he hasn’t insulted your favorite team with Larry’s Losers, just wait. Follow Larry on Twitter for inside thoughts and game time comments at  https://twitter.com/LBSportswriter

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