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Larry’s Losers in the SEC – 2013 Week One

Who will land on Larry’s Losers list this opening week? Read on and see!

Larry’s Losers in the SEC – 2013 Week One

By: Larry Burton

Well sports fans, it’s that time of year again when flying footballs forge fabulous photos for fans to remember and relive. This is the best week of college football! No one has a defeat, well at least yet all the fans are busy looking for the rabbit’s feet, four leaf clovers and any other lucky charms they may have found to help their teams.

The pigskin picking pug has purposely purused practically all the preseason publications and feels perfection is within reach this week. I wish I was as comfortable with these picks as some of these contests could go down to the wire.

So with us starting the season at 100 percent, just like the teams, let’s get to pickin’ and see how they go…

In The East

Toledo at Florida – The Rockets shoot themselves into the Swamp this Saturday and are hoping to pull off a shock and awe type air attack that make the muddy water lizards swim for the bottom.

But Muschamps mud puppies aren’t about to abandon their home turf for these missile men and those rockets may as well be duds for all the effect they’ll have on these grand Gators.

Larry’s Loser – Toledo

Georgia at Clemson – Talk about a Dog and Cat fight! This one’s had me chewin’ my fingernails and fretting. Richt’s burly Bulldogs usually start the season slow and Dabo’s Tabbies usually light it up early, but that was the past and these are two different teams.

The only thing you can be sure of is that the fur is going to fly in this foray. It could go down to the last team with the ball and the last drive of the game, because the winner of this game won’t be the one who can score, they both can. The winner of this game will be the one that can stop the other the most and in the end a mediocre SEC defense is better than an average ACC one.

These dogs are gonna lick the cats too!

Larry’s Loser –  Clemson

Western Kentucky vs Kentucky – The Hilltoppers from the Western side of the state come to battle their Kentucky cousins in of all places, Nashville, Tennessee. Now these unkown hill climbers aren’t just a bunch of bluegrass bumblers, Willie Taggart had these boys in a bowl last season and went on to greener grass and Bobby Petrino took over.

Now while these Hilltoppers aren’t the Arkansas Swine that Petrino last led, they’re a darn fine bunch of guys who will put a heck of a fight. But Bob Stoops ain’t above stooping to any tactics to make Petrino’s first game a lame one and the excitement that Stoops is bringing to the Mildcats might just make them a little wilder in this first game.


Larry’s Loser – Western Kentucky

Murray State at Missouri – The Murray State Racers are hoping to come into race into Faurot Field and dash back out with a win against Gary Pinkel’s Pussycats. Last season these Tabbies licked their wounds after joining the SEC and sat home at bowl time with a 5-7 record.

But at least after this week, these are some Tigers the racers won’t run fast enough from to escape some serious scratching and Pinkel’s pussycats will be purring from their first week perfection.

Larry’s Loser – Murray State

The Tigers show that they have something a little racy too for the Racers.

North Carolina at South Carolina – People in the SEC may not be familiar with the fact that Larry Fedora is one fine fellow and a heck of a coach too and may be surprised that these Tarheels honestly feel they can put one of those petroleum footsies squarely up the Gamecock’s feathered fanny.

But the Old Ball Coach has finally assembled perhaps the prettiest pack of Pullets he’s ever had, so the Gamecocks aren’t going down in defeat and cluck up what could be their best season yet. This one will tell you just how good they are.

Larry’s Loser – North Carolina

Austin Peay at Tennessee – And what a boring game you’ll see! You might as well finish that poem just as the Governors from just down the road will be finished after paying their Tennessee brothers a visit.

While Tennessee ain’t quite back to the standards they used to be, they should be a darn site better than their their poor cousins down the road and at least this week, the Vols will be victorious and the fans will have a lot to cheer about.

Larry’s Loser – Austin Peay

Ole Miss at Vanderbilt – This is another one of those panic inducing picks as the Rebels are a team on the way up and you have to wonder how long James Franklin can keep using duct tape, bailing wire and coaching magic to keep the Commodores in bowl games.

Last season, the Song City Sailors escaped the Grove at Ole Miss with a measly one point win and this year they face them on their home waters. Folks, this one could give both fans an ulcer before it’s over and this year’s game could be just as close. But when it doubt, go with a winner.

Larry’s Loser – Ole Miss

And Now For The West

Virginia Tech vs Alabama – For the second time in their last three games, the Tide return to Atlanta but this time it won’t be to face the SEC East’s beast, but the ACC’s hopeless Hokies. Frank Beamer usually has a team that strikes fear into the hearts of any foe, but last season showed just how far they’ve fallen.

After a 6-6 regular season, they squeaked into a lousy bowl and barely beat a Rutgers team that wasn’t so hot itself. So Saban’s only concern in this game is how bad does he want to make his old buddy look in this one. Vegas has it about 19.5, but they could beat them as bad as they want to.

Larry’s Loser – Virginia Tech

Louisiana Lafayette at Arkansas

Lot’s of folks are going to be surprised that these Rajin’ Cajuns are going to raise as much ruckus as they will when they parade into the Pig pen and try and start a barbeque.

While the Sin City boys on the strip see the Hogs as an 11 point favorite, the old pug and I see a much closer game. But in the end, Bret Bielema has his tusked ones ready for this tussle and he’ll find a way to make this a Hog heaven weekend.

Larry’s Loser – Louisiana Lafayette

Washington State at Auburn – When Mike Leach took over the Cougar Clan up in the Western apple state, a 3-9 season was not what he had in mind. But then he took over a program in dire straights. Auburn suffered that same 3-9 season and it cost their coach his job, but he just one year away from a national championship.

Both teams have great offensive minds now that Auburn’s hired Gus Malzhan back to head the Cat herd in the plains. Now the betting boys have the Tigers more than a two touchdown favorite over the Cougars, but we see a closer game that could go either way.

Larry’s Loser – Washington State

There’s only big cat in this game and the outcome will show who it is.

TCU at LSU – Gary Patterson brings those Horny Toads down to bayou country to see if they can tame a Tiger and they may can if the LSU on again, off again offense is off again.

But Les Miles plans on eating some grass and kicking some gas, pedal that is, in hopes that Zach Mettenberger will throw more rockets from the pocket this year. Both teams have able defenses, so the team that scores soars in this one.

Larry’s Loser – TCU

Oklahoma State at Mississippi State – Mike Gundy brings his Cowboys to tangle with the Dogs in Houston to see if he can lasso a bevy of Bulldogs and ride off into the sunset with a win. Dan Mullen’s mutts just kind of sit around in the middle of the pack and never seem to run with the big dogs, but he seems to think his Dog days are over and his Mutts are ready to bite as big as they bark.

But while the the Cowpokes are picked to pull the prize winning paycheck in the Big 12, the Mississippi Mutts are picked to have just another typical Bulldog kind of year.

Larry’s Loser – Mississippi State

Rice at Texas A&M – The Owls must not be too wise, or they wouldn’t have flown into Arlington to try and get angry with the Aggies. This can be a game where Johnny Football signer can sign at least two footballs during each play.

While the game isn’t a good indication of how good A&M really is, it will be a great indication of just how bad Rice is.

Larry’s Loser – Rice

The Aggies find out Owls taste like chicken, but at least a few went out fighting.

Well that’s it for this week folks. This is the last chance to admire all these undefeated teams before they loudly languish landing on Larry’s Losers list.

So till next week, the pigskin pickin’ pooch and I wish you a happy week of watching what we’ve waited for woefully too long. Now let’s go watch some football!

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