Well folks, this week we’re watching these with fingers and paws crossed hoping to get the results we recited in this report. Take a read and see if you agree with picks we prognosticated.
Larry’s Losers in the SEC-Week 8-2017
By: Larry Burton
Well folks, every prognosticator in the world and we got the Georgia – Vandy game wrong, who would’ve thought Georgia couldn’t win against one of the East’s weak sisters and we were split on the Hogs / Rebel contest and I had to talk the dog into going along with the Rebels so last week’s two losses put us at 53-11 for the season so far. That slips us down to about 83% and not where we thought we’d be after two perfect weeks this so far this season.
To make things worse, this week has some games that are making us earn our money and gray hair. The pooch and I have gone at it more than once this week. He’s been swatted with the paper and I’ve got bite marks on my ankles over some of these games. After all we learned last week with Georgia that anything can happen in the SEC. So with this in mind, here’s what we came up with for this week’s list of losers.
Massachusetts at South Carolina – At 11am, the Minutemen from Messychusetts arrive at the Chicken Coop for a little football and a big check and they’ll get both.
Now this would be an even bigger upset than Vandy beating Georgia last week, but that won’t stop these 60 second soldiers from beating the drums, charging and doing all those other military kind of things.
But a minute is about all the time these Minutemen could be competitive if things go the way we see them going. In a real cupcake contest, Larry’s losers – Massachusetts
Texas A&M at Alabama – The first afternoon game at 2:30 finds the Aggies from Texasland coming to call on the Tusked Ones in Tuscaloosa and they’re aiming to keep the undefeated season going by pummeling these pachyderms in their home pen.
But Nick Saban ain’t about to let this season get away from him by letting these farming footballers and he’s aiming to squash these Aggies like grapes at a winery.
Coach Kevin knows that if he can pull off this win, his boys may get to graduate to the big farm in the playoffs and he’s gonna pull out all the stops he can to see that this happens. But the pooch and I know what will happen… Larry’s loser – Texas A&M
Middle Tennessee at Missouri – The Blue Raiders ride into Memorial Stadium at 3:30 in another cupcake classic, but this time at least Tennessee bunch can put up a little struggle in earning that big check.
At 4&2 these Raiders know their record is twice as good as the Show Me Squad’s 2&4 tally, so they think an upset isn’t beyond the realm of hope here.
But coach Odum knows if he’s going to steer his squad to a bowl game, this is a must win scenario for this troop of Tigers and this is just what we think will happen. Larry’s loser – Middle Tennessee
Arkansas at Auburn – At 5pm the Sausage Squad from Arkansas comes a calling on the campus Cat show at Auburn and this fight will be tough as the one the pigskin pickin’ pooch and I had over prognosticating this pick.
The Gus Bus seems to running smoother on the plains since he quit calling the plays himself and the team shifted into high gear, set the cruise control and the boys in Lost Wages have these Pussycats plus 8 on the betting sheets.
But with a big win last week over the rival Rebels, these Hogs are flying high and think they can skin these Cats and stake their claim as one of the class acts in the SEC. Now this game is one that’s a toughie and we disagree on this one, but since I type up the article, we’re going with my pick. Larry’s loser – Arkansas
Mississippi State at Kentucky – The first of the sunset games find Mullen’s Mutts trying to raise their leg on the Kentucky Kitties home field at 6:30 pm.
Coach Stoops will stoop to anything to get another SEC under his belt and keep his bowl game dream alive because he knows it will buy him another season as the head man of this Kentucky Cat show.
But Dan’s Doggies also need a win and are looking for someone to punish since getting manhandled by the Mormans last week at BYU and they have their own bowl game to make, but while they may not make a bowl game, they’ll come off with a win in this one. Larry’s loser – Kentucky
Tennessee State at Vanderbilt – The other sunset slate is held at Vandy Stadium where the Tennessee State Tigers come by for a taste of SEC money from their in state big brother.
These Tigers are gonna play like kittens without claws and this is the cupcake in this week’s schedule.
Now if you’re a Commodore fan and you’ve been wanting to see them finally get the offense going, then this is your contest to consider a drive to Song City and see the slaughter. Larry’s loser – Tennessee State
Ole Miss at LSU – The prime time contest at 8pm finds the Rebels rolling into Tiger Stadium for a night time brewhaha in the bayou.
To keep Ole Miss from free falling into an Ole Mess like they do every season about this time, their coach wants to Freeze the free fall and fight these felines profoundly.
But coach O knows that opponents don’t fare too well in the moonshine of Death Valley at night and these Cajun Kitties just seem to hunt better at night and that means these Rebels will be lucky to see the sunrise on Sunday morning. Larry’s Loser – Ole Miss
Well folks, that’s it for this weeks list of likely losers. Computers are sure better than pencils because we would have already run through five from wearing out the erasers changing back and forth on the Auburn / Arkansas pick. Bacardi the Wonder Dog hasn’t fetched the paper or my house shoes for not agreeing with him on this one, but only time will tell now. If I’m right, maybe he’ll forgive me, if not he’ll be in Rum and Coke and Milk Bones for a week.
As the season goes on it could get even tougher getting these picks right and Lord knows we’re about to to wear out the backspace key on crazy computer, but as difficult as some of these picks are to make, it’s still so much fun watching them play it out and help me Jesus if the one time I have faith in Auburn in a tough game goes wrong. I may be sleeping in the dog bed until he muffs a big one.
So till next week, run to store and get those tailgating or TV snacks ready and settle in for sensational SEC Saturday and we’ll see you back here next week.
LARRY HAS BEEN PUBLISHED IN ALMOST EVERY MEDIA OUTLET FOR COLLEGE SPORTS AND NOW PRIMARILY WRITES HERE FOR TOUCHDOWN ALABAMA. HE WRITES IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND GAME TIME COMMENTS AT HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER
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