Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Week 10 – 2013
By Larry Burton
Missouri, Missouri, Missouri, the name is my misery. When I pick against ’em, they win, when I finally get on the bandwagon, they lose. Last week all went as the pigskin pickin’ pooch and I thought they would but the misery game. This week there’s some close call catastrophes just waiting to happen this week too.
Now that I’m back from the land of the midnight rum, Bacardi the Wonder Dog and I have had some serious study time to try and get back to perfect prognostications, so without any further ado, let’s just jump right into the fray and tell you how they’re gonna play, out that is.
This week we had to make a quick run to Ft. Lauderdale so we’re a day late getting this out, but the long trip gave us a chance to over all these picks one last time and we think we finally got it right.
Mississippi State and South Carolina – Starting the Saturday slayings at 11:21 (all times CST) Dan Mullen drags the down trodden Dogs to South Carolina to take part in a pecking party. Now Dan’s Doggies may have avoided the SEC cellar by being a little less of a screw up than the Kentucky Mildcats last week and there’s always hope that maybe that was just the begging of a streak of wins in the SEC.
But the Old Ball Coach is gonna show these baffooning Bulldogs that if you have hope in one hand and crap in the other, that all anybody will notice, not to mention smell, is the crap. This week shows why there may be no one else in the SEC that pack of pooches can party with,
Larry’s Loser – Mississippi State
Georgia Vs Florida at Jacksonville – At 2:30pm, two teams with high hopes for still making it to Atlanta for the SEC swaray are going to battle it out. (yes I know it’s supposed to be spelled soiree, but SEC readers wouldn’t recognize that) Georgia’s offense against the Florida defense.
The battered Bulldogs haven’t been the same since the bashing by the Vols, getting bagged by Missouri and Vanderbilt, but then Florida foundered against LSU and Missouri too, so these are two reeling teams in need of a turnaround. The losing coach of this game will be like Lucille Ball, they’ll have some ‘splaining to do.
Larry’s Loser – Georgia
Auburn at Arkansas – At 5:00pm, they’ll flip on the lights at the Pig pen and the Hogs are hoping that these Tigers will be blinded by light and it will be the Hogs who are revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.
But Gus’ gaggle of Tigers aren’t about to be hobbled by the horrible Hogs and they are still still starstruck in believing that they’re a lot better than they actually are. But these hogs wont’ be the ones to bring the back to reality.
Larry’s Loser – Arkansas
Tennessee at Missouri – At 6:00pm, the second worst team in the SEC East will take on the league leader and Butch’s boys are hoping to build on the big Old Ball Coach busting they did last week and somehow find a way to keep the Tigers in a tailspin.
Now if there’s a team this year that the pooch and I just downright dislike, it’s these miserable Missourians. We just can’t get a bead on them, but we’ve missed more betting against them than with them, so we’ll go with them one more time.
Larry’s Loser – Tennessee
Alabama State at Kentucky – At 6:30pm the Hornets fly in to Commonwealth Stadium to try and add to the misery of the Mildcats and leave them with stingers in their saddle area and buzz off with a win.
But this is Big Boy country in the SEC and even the worst team in this league is a handful outside the family and this game could very well double the digits in the win column. Unfortunately for the boys from the bluegrass ballpark, that might be all the wins they muster this season.
Larry’s Loser – Alabama State
UTEP at Texas A&M – The final game of a short list of losers begins at 8:00pm and finds the Miners from El Paso trying to dig their way out of a crappy season and gain some in state street cred by knocking off the best team in Texas.
But this is a team so bad that Johnny Football can sign autographs in the pocket while waiting for the receivers to run downhill. The only mystery in this game is how long they’ll leave Sir Signalot in the game and how many points they’ll pile up against these pitiful players.
Larry’s Loser – UTEP
And that’s it for this week folks. We think we’re all rested up from vacation and that this week’s picks will reflect that. If not, put us up on the loser’s column for next week. Now you little flea bag, where’s my slippers?