Well sports fans it’s been a long and surprising season in the SEC and now most of the surprises are over. As you know I picked the SEC to do a clean sweep of the bowls and though the Mutts were seen as a winner that was a mistake. It looked good for the first half until those pesky Redbirds figured out how to fly circles around the pathetic Pooches so they ended up staining the SEC.
Then Auburn lost their fourth out of their last five bowl games to inferior teams. They really stink up SEC records in bowl season but I had high hopes for them this year, but alas, they are Auburn and they do have a reputation to maintain… So we missed those two. Some folks never learn and I sure ignored history.
Finally, to end the bowl season, those Vols sure pulled out a win for themselves and this list of losers, by ending the bowl season with a thrilling come from behind win that ended out bowl picks at a respectable but disappointing 7-2.
As for the conference bowl review, of course the SEC showed once again who your daddy is. They went 7-2 like us for a league leading 77.77%. I thought it was fitting that their record and ours were the same. We’re still both the top at what we do.
At least for the biggest of prizes…
But we list the losers and here are the summaries of the shameful from the power five this bowl season:
The Pig 12 – Uh, I mean Big 12 – No conference stunk it up as bad this crappy conference. They went 1-5 for the leading all losers with just a 16.67 winning percentage in bowl season. And their conference champ got more than doubled up by LSU, so can we just quit including any Big 12 team from the playoffs from now on?
The A Sick Sick – Uh, I mean the ACC – The Snow White and the 13 dwarves conference. They won just 40% of their bowl games they certainly belong on a loser’s list after notching a 4-6 record.
The Pig Ten – Uh, I mean the Big Ten – What’s big about this conference of pretenders? Their champ was supposed to be the best team ever, most balanced team ever, blah, blah, blah and they got rolled in the semis as usual. They ended up winning just 44% of their bowl contests. Yeah, some dominate conference there going 4-5.
The Poop 12 – Uh, I mean the PAC 12 – At least finished as the second best and was the only other power five not to finish below .500. But a 57% score is still an F, so they can proudly take their place on the losers list after going 4-3.
This has been the season of LSU and the SEC. Others pretended, but no other contended when it mattered so far and we’ll jump into who’ll be the biggest loser of the year, the team that could have won it all but didn’t.
LSU vs Clemson – Mercedes Benz Superdome – New Orleans, Louisiana – Jan 13th –
Well if this ain’t the biggest cat fight of the year somebody pinch me and wake me up. When the Clemson Kitties go down to the big easy to take on the Bayou Bengals in the Cajun crowd’s back yard you can bet that the fur is gonna fly.
Now Dabo’s Cat show has gotten blue ribbons all year long, but after just sliding by Ohio State in a bruising ball game, you got to wonder how much gas they have left in the tank. Especially after LSU whipped up on the Okies like they were backwood buffoons, making that game look like a bye week.
Now both teams have had two squeakers and twelve blowouts each. Both teams have shown a resilience in being able to do what it takes to win this year and few would be shocked if either team won.
But I haven’t been the best guesser in college football for 20 years for nothing, so when it’s close, go with the SEC’s best, go with the home team and go with the team with the hottest hand and baby one team has all three of these and that makes Larry’s loser – Clemson
And that my friends was the SEC’s list of losers for the entire 2019 season. After a tough and greuling season of listing the losers for you, I’m taking a rest with the Mrs. and left the rest of crew to lay up the loser’s lair for the offseason. I hope you enjoyed this season’s series as much I did bringing it to you.
If I didn’t get around to insulting your team this season, come back, I’m sure I will in time. If your sense of humor is thicker than your skin, you’ll love it, if not you’ll still read it just to hope I’m wrong. But have the best in 2020 and we’ll see you back right here soon.
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LARRY BURTON HAS BEEN PUBLISHED IN ALMOST EVERY MEDIA OUTLET FOR COLLEGE SPORTS AND NOW PRIMARILY WRITES HERE FOR TOUCHDOWN ALABAMA. HE WRITES IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME TIME COMMENTS AT HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER